Wow. Lame, Harl…

Wow. Lame, HarlemMommy. It’s been two months. Lame. So…What’s the deal?


I’ll tell you. I’ve been working all the time. And going to class and spending quality time with loved ones. I’ve been neglecting my blog responsibilities however, and that’s just not right. So, I am putting myself on a schedule. Once a week. If I do more, pin a rose on my nose, but at least once a week.

Right now, I wait until something has happened before I blog, but I’m going to have to just write. Do one of those memes or something. Daycare is going well. The kid loves being around all those other children. No fuss, no muss. I spoke with the woman who runs the program about my concerns and they were fixed. Win.

Today I feel like one of the gross moms. My son has pink-eye. I’m pretty sure that’s a dirty kid disease. His eye is all goopy and ucky. I dropped some breast milk in it, but to do so was like wresting 2 tigers and a monkey. It cleared up some goop, though so I’m leaning on the, “it was worth it” side.

To celebrate, we bought the boy new shoes. Second step of bad parenthood, my son’s shoes were WAY too small. He’s got a giant toddler foot. Size 8. He was wearing a 7! In my defense, I told Husband we had to get him new shoes. Toes aren’t supposed to stick out the front end of shoes. Husband assured me that there was no problem. I shrugged and figured if things were bad then the kid would complain. Nope, the kid just ran off as soon as he got his shoes on his feet. Lesson learned.

Turns out, you get pink eye from touching your runny nose and then touching your eye. I’ve probably had it myself four times and just didn’t realize it. Touching your nose and eye? That’s like Marshall’s m.o.  The doctor said they’ve had a ton of kids come in with pinkeye. To which my husband replied later, “That’s probably how the baby caught it.” Maybe. Totally. It makes more sense then my being the gross parent.

Lessons? Wash your hands. All the time. Don’t put eye drops in a toddler’s eye unless you are ready to rumble. Now you know.




Visit 3
I went on this visit sans husband just to drop off paperwork.  Both
the director and the Assistant Director were very helpful. Easy.

Okay. I was nervous. I was planning on bringing Marshall in and
staying wit him for a bit. Then I would leave for an hour or so. I
would then come back and take him home. Easy-peasy.

When I arrive, I hear the teacher talking sternly to a baby. Ugh.
Seriously? The kid is crying, you wanna, I don’t know, pick him up?
She’s in there alone with three children. What happened to the two
teachers in a classroom? The Director comes down the hall and says
it’s okay to go in. (Yippee.)
The Director also brings in another woman. She says that this woman is
a floater; and since  another teacher called in sick she’ll be in
Marshall’s room. This woman is great. Great tone of voice when she
talks to kids. She picks up the crying child.

Marshall is doing great. He’s playing with cars. He shares a
shakey-bell thing with another little girl and plays with a doll.
Fine. Meanwhile, crying kid has a snotty nose and a little girl wants
me to play with her. During story time Marshall listens to the story.
The floater woman was great. She helped the little girl clean her nose
and rocked the crying boy. The other woman? She complained that the
boy wanted to be held. She complained that the baby wanted to be held.
Really? I’m thinking she’s in the wrong business.
The crying boys comes over to me crying and I rock him to sleep during
the story.
This is an hour. The next 30 minutes there is upstairs playing time.
Five balls for 15 kids. Lame. One little girl put a pretend strawberry
in her mouth. The response, “Get that out of your mouth!”

Little girl puts a bouncy ball that is too big for the basketball hoop
in the basketball hoop. The response? “Didn’t I just tell you not to
do that? That’s too big!”

No gentle re-direction. No sense of the fact that these toddlers learn
by doing. How else are they supposed to know that a ball is too big
unless they try to put it in the hoop? My heart was crushed by the
tone they used with the kids. No one spoke to Marshall that way, but I
have no doubt that had I not been there, they might have.

So at this point I take the baby downstairs and nurse him. Then the
rest of the class comes down and gets ready for craft time. Play-doh
is the project. I am confident Marshall will love this, so it’s a
fantastic time to leave. I hug and kiss him good-bye and go. I call
the husband about the tone used by one of the teachers.  He is also
concerned. Now, I’m ready to yank him out of the program. He is
willing to give them another shot. We should, he reasons, tell them
the problems we see, and let them fix them. Now, I am concerned that
if I tell the Director the problems, the teacher will take out her
anger on the kid.

In the end, I tell the Director the issues I have and she says that
she will talk about it with the teacher. I’m not sure if I have done
the right thing. I’m not sure if this is the right place for my son.
Daycare? It’s affordable, but how much am I losing out with less
individual attention?



Brief Update

Marshall is now 19 months old. I know, I know, I have been extremely
derelict of duty when it comes to this blog. In my defense, work has
been cray-cray. I am now working part-time in education. It is
fantastic. I get to work, which I love, and I get to spend two whole,
lovely days with my son. Unfortunately, times being what they are, it
is tough to make it on one and a half incomes. It’s do-able, and we’ve
been doing it for awhile, but times are hard.

The plan was for me to return this month to a full time working
schedule. It had been a good run with me working part-time, but I like
to visit my family in California, so that time has come to an end.
Except it hasn’t. My current employment situation has changed, so I
will be remaining a part-time employee. We are putting him in day-care
because we can no longer afford our baby-sitter.

Christmas? Thanks for asking, it was great. The kid loved opening
presents. We took walks, Husband and I went out without the kid and
had a lovely time. Spending time with the family was fantastic and so
relaxing. My mom made us breakfast and I cleaned the kitchen everyday.
It was awesome.


Visit 1
We found a daycare close to work and took a tour. The director is
fantastic. She is well-trained and has a fantastic tone when talking
to babies. The center is clean, colorful and everything is new. Lots
of arts materials and items for pretend play.

Visit 2
We came back a second time to meet with Marshall’s possible teachers.
One seems a bit immature, but she’s the junior teacher, so we did not
stress about it. The other teacher has lots of experience and said the
right things. She re-directs children if they are not following
directions and she comforts them if they are crying after the parents
leave. Awesome.  I was all ready to hate it, but even I had to admit
they were pretty great.


We’ll see how it goes.

Toddler Intelligence

Toddlers are smart. It’s like they have a built in mechanism to push your but so far before they get all cute and you get all melty. Babies are automatically, evolutionarily cute. Who is going to eat something with such big eyes? But Toddlers? A wolf would eat one of those no problem. So, in defense, toddlers got smarter.

Let’s say, for example, you’re a toddler showering with your mom. It’s relaxing, it’s fun, you like the water. Let’s say she decides, without consulting you, that the shower is over. You, of course, are livid. You lash out. You, duh, try to scratch her face. You are thwarted beause clever Mama has clipped your nails. This infuriates you. You demand to be put down. Now Mama has wrapped you oh-so-lovingly in a towel, but you are not to be appeased. You thrash and howl and demand to. Be. Put. Down. Now! You want to slip and slide on the shower floor. That’s exciting. Sure, you might fall and crack your head open , but safety is for babies. Eff that noise! Again, your attempts at a good time are rebuffed and she only puts you down on the bath mat. You gave her little choice with your slippery little body trying to throw yourself head first out of her arms. Meanwhile, she’s naked and freezing, cause far be it for her to wrap up in a towel when you aren’t dressed yet.

(She could’ve taken the time to put on underwear, but last time she did that you peed on the floor. You didn’t think it was a big deal yourself, but she no puts on her underwear before she puts on your “underwear.”)

Phew! Finally you are down. You wriggle out of your towel and walk around a bit. You try to spin the toilet paper out of control in that special way you do, but Mama, the fun killer, picks you up and begins to put a diaper on you. What?! Diaper? When you could be walking around flapping in the breeze? No thank you, Captain Never lets Me Do Anything Awesome. So you kick and moan and make her life miserable. Not cause you don’t love her, you do, but come on, naked time is so great! Why is she ruining it? Then you look at her. She’s about to lose her mind. She’s breathing all crazy and her mouth is pursed into a weird straight line. May-Day! May-Day!

Luckily, you’re a toddler and at some training school or innate sense of danger managemaent has taught you how to deal with this situation. You smile. You stop your devilish squirming and reach your wee little hands out to her. You snuggle in and ask for Babas. You two lay on the bed and you nurse. The food is delicious, (all that mischief, who wouldn’t be famished?) and you are a bit tired. Mommy calms down instantly and you snuggle in like a champ. Crisis averted.


See? Toddlers are geniuses. Nursing release calming, happy, loving hormones that prevent crazy actions you’d regret later. It puts toddlers to sleep. And they are still so very cute. And they can hug you back now. And their smiles? Melty. Just in the nick of time, they stave off impending doom with teh cute. Thank God they are to small to run for office.

My Bad

So it’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Mea Culpa. Work got a little crazy and stresful and my own classes became a little more intense.

Quick review?
– Halloween: The kid was a dinosaur. He was adorable. We went to a halloween party and trick or treated at two houses. He fell asleep pretty early, but was a super-trooper.

We went to Connecticut. We love going to suburban areas and hitting up the mall and a neighborhood eatery like 99. It reminds us of our childhoods and we are not ashamed. We saw some college friends or Husband’s and has a lovely time. It’s fantastic hanging out with people who also have a toddler. Not only are they understanding about meltdowns and such, but they also have all the accessories we need like cheerios and sippy cups.

New developments: The kid can now say bro-bro. I said it to him as a joke and he repeated. Cutest ever. He has a rash on his back and torso. Getting him checked out on Wednesday. It doesn’t seem to be bothering him though, se we are not too freaked out about it.

I was sick two weeks ago. Husband is now getting over his sick. Baby always seems to have a runny nose.

Getting ready to transition to working full time and putting baby in daycare. Not freaking out yet, but getting ready to do so.

Catching Up

So. October is here and autumn is upon us. I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. It’s colder, but not freezing yet, which is good. School has started which is kind of lame, but also exciting. New TV season begins, which is great, but also means I want to watch more TV. Football is in full swing, which I love, but baseball is approaching play-offs which means the husband will be staying up too late.

All in all however, I like Fall. I like new boots and the crisp air and the reflection of it all. That said, let’s take stock, shall we?

The baby is doing marvelously. He is growing like a proverbial weed. He is tall and healthy and keeps outgrowing shoes. He loves to dance. He does a full-body shake thing that is adorable. He is normally pretty happy, but does have a temper when he doesn’t get his way. When this happens, watch out! He will grab at your face. It’s not so bad when his nails are cut, but when his nails are long it is a killer. He loves to play. He likes his puppy toy the best. He loves real dogs a ton. When he sees a dog outside, on TV or in a book he points to it and screams, “Dah-dah!!” It’s cute, but if you’re in Duane Reade, it can be embarrassing.  He is a good walker, says a few words, (mama, Da-da, sometimes duck, maybe?) plays with everything. He maes everything into a phone to talk on, and conducts business. Bowls and pots are still aces in his book. He is still a night-owl. He sometimes gets shy around other kids and dos not like it when people shout. It freaks him out.

Today we went to my friend K’s house. Her little boy is a few months older than Scooba. Her son was being friendly and would shout at Scooba, “Bubbles!” Scooba looked startled and ran to me to pick him up, please. He can now hug and kiss and is learning to blow kisses. It is adorable. He claps, but he’s been doing that for a few months now. He high-fives, which people love, and shakes hands which I find darling.

He still loves the park, but is less about the swings now. He likes to explore all over the park now. Favorite songs are still Old MacDonald and This Old Man, but he also loves Mi Cuerpo and the ABCs. Also I’m a Little Froggy. He did great when we visited San Diego and let my brother hold him for extended periods. Loves to play chase. Is eating lots of solid foods. Beans and lentils are a big hit. He loves fruit, especially strawberries and watermelon.

Me? I am tired. I am taking night courses and get home around 10pm one night a week. It’s good because Husband has one night a week where he is the guy doing everything. It’s good that he gets the one-on-one time with the baby.I’m back at work which is pretty good. Exhausting and busy, but fulfilling. I’m loving twitter.

Modern Family

I like TV. It’s funny. Or engaging. And sometimes you find yourself reflected there. As a Black woman, I do not often find myself reflected on tee vee. (Especially since we don’t have HBO anymore.) Imagine my surprise when, while watching Moderm Family, my husband and I found ourselves cracking the hell up because one couple was us.


Husband goes to sleep earlier than the aby and I do. He had just bid us good night, I was straightening up and the baby was making a mess in the kitchen for a change of scene. Modern Family comes on. The couple is having a bit of a tiff because one person made an elaborate meal and he kitchen is a MESS. Other person is grosed out and the chef is all, “don’t worry, I’ll clean it.” From the bedroom, where he is supposed to be sleeping, my husband cracks up with laughter. Cam and Mitchell, are our TV twins. I’m Cam.

Now, before you think this is a fluke, that I see myself everywhere, let me assure you, Cam and Mitchell are not just hand-twin twins, but actual twins. (Someone got that Friends reference, right?)


Last week Mitchell accused Cam of coddling Lily.

“I will not apologize for loving our daughter.”

I sprayed Mango smoothie on the coffee table when Cam uttered the line. Not just because of the line, but because of Husband’s face when the line was said. He roared, but then looked at me.

“Why you looking at me, Husband?”

“No reason.” *snort, laugh*

:You think that’s me? I’m Cam?

“I’m pretty sure you’ve said that exact same thing to me when I say the baby should sleep in his crib.”

This began a whole discussion about the baby’s sleeping habits that was lame and is still unresolved. But, it did begin the us as Mitchell and Cam conversation.

I’m artsy and emotional. He’s a worrier and is all clean-y. It gives the show a new lens for us now. Interesting.


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