Story Two

Baths. We take baths with the baby. It’s a nice end to the day. We both are in the bathroom. We talk about our days in detail and share important news. I usually take a bath with the baby in case he wants to eat, but Husband also does it sometimes. This night, I asked if he wanted to bathe with the baby. “Yes,” he replies.

Oh. Okay. That’s weird, but fine.

Now, I’m pretty fair. We both parent the baby, so if he wants to take a bath with the baby, that’s cool. Cool. Totally.

And yet.

Tonight I wanted to take a bath with the baby because I was cold and felt a little grimy. So I ran the bath thinking that I’d get in the bath. Husband isn’t that into the bath anyway and probably just said he’d do it to be nice.

It was settled. I’d take a bath with the baby.

I stripped the baby, stripped myself and stepped in the tub as  it filled with water and lucious, sweet smelling bubbles.

Husband arrives int the bathroom.

“Oh-ho! What’s this? I thought I was taking a bath with the baby!”

“You were, but I want to. You don’t mind, right?”

“I do mind. You don’t listen.”

“I listen. I just ignore. Come on, I feel grimy.”

Meanwhile, the tub is filling up. I’m already naked, so what’s he gonna do?

“Fine,” he says.

I ask him if he can move cause I need to pee. He says no. “Alright,” I sigh. I just mosey over to the other bathroom. It’s okay if he doesn’t move, he might be feeling a bit upset. There’s two bathrooms. No big whoop.

As I’m drying my hands and opening the bathroom door again, I see Husband’s naked, white behind dashing from the baby’s room to the bathroom.

My mind goes from “what the…?”

to, “he’s not trying to…”

and then, “but I said I was gonna…”

This so and so had the nerve to hijack my hijacking!

I race to the bathroom to see him and the baby standing in the tub. My tub!!

I screech, “I’m taking the bath!”

“No you’re not!” he laughs.

So I step in the tub as well. Two can play that game. But Husband is a very bright fellow. He sits down.

I ask what he’s doing. He replies, “relaxing,” with the biggest grin on his face. Lame!

So I sit on the edge of the tub, fuming.

“Look. Admit uou lost. Go take a shower if you feel grimy.”

He was right. I took a glorious shower and felt relaxed and happy.

He won the battle, but I won the war.


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