One year! Holy Crap!

We made it a year. I know, we can’t believe it either.

Here’s what I know so far…

1. Kids grow fast. I know that’s not super deep, but truth is truth. The year flew by and I can’t believe all the new controls my son has. It started with holding his head up, and now he can walk. Walk!! Un-effing-believable. The first month, no the first week, I was sure I wouldn’t make it to a year. I would look at the internet and it would have information about a 2 month old as being all new. Two months! That seemed a lifetime to live through. Now it’s been almost 12 months. The first three months crawled by, then before I knew it, he was six months old!


2. Kids get big. He used to fit in one arm. His whole body. Now he has outgrown my lap. When he sleeps, it isn’t the tight little swaddled, fetal positioned like the newborn of olden days. It’s a long-limbed sprawl out, like a teenager.


3. Kids get fast. This dude can pop a piece of lint in his mouth faster than you can say, “Jackie Robinson!” He crawls so fast he actually, (I do regret this) made it to the toilet once. I’m sorry, I just didn’t realize how swiftly one could move on all-fours. Now that he’s walking with more regularity we are super screwed.


4. My mom loves me SO. MUCH. I did not realize the fierceness or the depth of my mother’s love for me until I had my son. Yes, my mom loves me. Yes, she’d give me a kidney. I knew this. But, after having Scuba, I really get it. No wonder she was up nights when I was coughing. I used to wonder how she knew I hadn’t been feeling well.  Now I know a mom can’t sleep well if her kid is awake and sick. No wonder she was up when I came home from a night out. It’s hard to get comfy when your kid isn’t safe in her bed. I still check to make sure my son’s breathing. I get it now.


5. Your kids are you. I am stubborn. So is my husband. So is my kid. He’s got my eyes, my husband’s chin and sometimes looking at him is like looking at all the people I love. He’s me. It’s amazing and frustrating at the same time. He’s mischievous and I don’t know whether to laugh or scold him. Good or bad, I can’t deny he’s mine.


6. Your kid is not you. More and more, he’s got his own agenda. I want him to lay down, well tough noogies, he wants to play or cry or crawl or look and see what’s happening around me. I want him to leave the stereo alone? Okay, but I’ll have to fight him for it. The older he gets, the more he wants independence. Today it’s walking by himself, one day he’ll want to decide on his own college major. You can guide your kids, tell them your good ideas and even give them consequences when they make mistakes, but in the end, they are their own selves; individuals with their own paths to blaze. His life belongs to him to be fantastic or to be lame.


7. The sound of your baby’s laughter is like liquid sunshine. And honey. And joy. And music. All put together. His smile is like going down in a roller coaster. I have totally fallen in love with my son. I’ve fallen in love with how my husband has fallen in love with our son. There’s nothing like a man and his kid. I just want to take a bath in it. My husband just gets all soft-eyed and lovey dovey for this little dude and I just wanna hug’em both and cry for the goodness of it.


8. The whole parenting thing is so freakishly hard there should be a license or a mental exam to take before they let you do it. This is SO. Hard. And there’s not a lot of off-time. Yeah, you can get a baby-sitter, but you still worry and are concerned and what if something happens? I now exist in a world where I am never completely and totally worry free. I don’t worry about myself. I’m awesome. When I get into scrapes, I figure something out. My husband is a grown man. If he falls, he’ll get back up and keep it moving. The baby? So small. So vulnerable. Do you know how many ways he could be hurt or maimed? Have you heard of molesters? Most of the time I keep the bad thoughts at bay, but it’s hard.


9. My kid is AWESOME. I mean it. He is funny. He is adorable. I can’t believe we get to spend so much time together. He laughs at most of my jokes. His cheeks and nose are perfection. He’s like a baby David; perfectly proportioned goodness. He’s a problem solver that figures out how to overcome obstacles! He also tries to talk with yogurt in his mouth which is cute. (I know it sounds gross, but really, trust me, it’s cute.)


10. The bad parts don’t last too long. Even when things are horrific and I’m sitting by the baby swing he hates and he’s crying and I’m crying and I don’t know who’s going to fix this…it passes. He stops crying, I stop crying, we smile again. Sometimes in the thick of it all, it feels like he will always be small or hungry or needy or wet or just something, but it passes. This helps get through the tough times, but also makes you want to slow down the good stuff because those moments don’t last too long either. The silly smile, the tooth just poking through for the first time. Chubby, impossibly soft arms around your neck. So good.




2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. momoftnn
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 07:54:53

    So sweet. It’s so funny how similar parenting experiences tend to be. My yummy 12 month old is just ridiculously cute and smart and a little hot head beating up her big sister. But then she smiles and laughes so loudly when big Sis do zerbets on her belly, or when daddy tackles her, love ’em. Keep blogging you’re funny:)



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