TTC? Maybe Baby?

That was me two and a half years ago, Was I sure I wanted a kid? They cry. They poo. I’ve seen them on buses raising hell. I’ve had them in class talking back to me. Eh. Was I over it?

 

Shout-out to people who are thinking about having children. I want to share with them what no one told me. Not a secret, exactly, more of a mind-set that I didn’t know you needed. I really wanted kids and understood they would take sacrifice. I thought it meant buying a kid new shoes instead of myself. And it does mean that. (Boy does it. My kid outgrows shoes like nobody’s business.)

 

But it also means re-arranging your priorities and options. Last night I needed to do work. I had work for my job and for two classes I am taking. Two years ago it would have been a pain, but I could have done it pretty easily. Yes, I would have procrastinated, but eventually I would have done it. With a toddler?

Such a different story. He is looking at me. He is smiling. I am pleading with him to go to sleep and he is cracking up. He figures it’s some kind of game because I am Mommy and I am always coming up with awesome games. I keep replaying in my mind all the work I have to do and how long it will take me. But he’s looking at me. He has 8 teeth and is smiling and looking at me. But I have to work. And yet there he is in his black, made in New York onesie. His curly head is nodding wildly.

 

It’s frustrating. It’s maddening. My husband is asleep, I am tired and the baby is awake and ready to play. Who am I going to be mad at for this? No one. Not the baby’s fault. I just wish there were more of me. One to play with the baby, one to sleep and one to do work. You think life was hard before a kid? Try adding in another full time job. A full time job you love. A full time time job at which you need to rock.

 

It’s hard. But it’s worth it. It’s super awesome great. One of the best things I’ve ever done. I’d write more, but  is now climbing up a stereo tower. I’ll finish be explaining how I finished my work last night. He went to sleep. Despite my level of exhaustion, I worked furiously until 2am to finish my work. I did everything except work for one class, which I just finished. I was able to finish work tonight because my husband stayed up later than usual.

This took three days to write.

Catching Up

So. September is drawing to a close and autumn is upon us. I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. It’s colder, but not freezing yet, which is good. School has started which is kind of lame, but also exciting. New TV season begins, which is great, but also means I want to watch more TV. Football is in full swing, which I love, but baseball is approaching play-ofs which means the husband will be staying up too late.

All in all however, I like Fall. I like new boots and the crisp air and the reflection of it all. That said, let’s take stock, shall we?

The baby is doing marvelously. He is growing like a proverbial weed. He is tall and healthy and keeps outgrowing shoes. He loves to dance. He does a full-body shake thing that is adorable. He is normally pretty happy, but does have a temper when he doesn’t get his way. When this happens, watch out! He will grab at your face. It’s not so bad when his nails are cut, but when his nails are long it is a killer. He loves to play. He likes his puppy toy the best. He loves real dogs a ton. When he sees a dog outside, on TV or in a book he points to it and screams, “Dah-dah!!” It’s cute, but if you’re in Duane Reade, it can be embarrassing.  He is a good walker, says a few words, (mama, Da-da, sometimes duck, maybe?) plays with everything. He maes everything into a phone to talk on, and conducts business. Bowls and pots are still aces in his book. He is still a night-owl. He sometimes gets shy around other kids and dos not like it when people shout. It freaks him out.

Today we went to my friend K’s house. Her little boy is a few months older than Scooba. Her son was being friendly and would shout at Scooba, “Bubbles!” Scooba looked startled and ran to me to pick him up, please. He can now hug and kiss and is learning to blow kisses. It is adorable.

He still loves the park, but is less about the swings now. He likes to explore all over the park now. Favorite songs are still Old MacDonald and This Old Man, but he also loves Mi Cuerpo and the ABCs. Also I’m a Little Froggy. He did great when we visited San Diego and let my brother hold him for extended periods. Loves to play chase. Is eating lots of solid foods. Beans and lentils are a big hit. He loves fruit, especially strawberries and watermelon.

Me? I am tired. I am taking night courses and get home around 10pm one night a week. It’s good because Husband has one night a week where he is the guy doing everything. It’s good that he gets the one-on-one time with the baby.I’m back at work which is pretty good. Exhausting and busy, but fulfilling. I’m loving twitter.

Aak!

Catch-Up Post:

So stressed. Went back to work. Last week I cleaned and organized hundreds of books. They are categorized by genre, author, level and/or stereotype. (Books for guys who like sports. Or Vampire books.) Is vampire a genre? Anyway, it took forever, but it is done.

Back to School:

Today was the first official day for teachers. I couldn’t sleep last night. Thursday is the first day for the kids. It feels weird not to be getting a classroom ready. I am usually getting my first day speech ready and planning a super cool awesome ice-breker. My favorite? Two truths and a lie.

The baby is back with his nanny. Things are going well so far on that front. I was gone all day today. I didn’t get home until 9:45. Oh, also I am in school at night. More on that later. And also, it poured today. Poured. I was soaked when I finally arrived in class. Soaked. My hair kept dripping on my papers. At least is wasn’t too cold temperature wise, though. On the way home it was cold and rainy. Gross.

I feel all hyper. I should be asleep, but I have all this stuff I want to say to the new teachers. I’m all frantic.I really missed my co-workers. When I am at work though, I really miss the baby. I’m sure the sad will decrease as we get further into the year.

Hurricane:

The hurricane was not so bad. A little rain. I packed a go bag for nothin’. {kicks rocks}But we’re all safe, so there’s that. We ended up helping out at a shelter for people who had been evacuated which was fun.

 

You wanna know something gross? We ordered fresh direct and in our spinach is a live moth. That’s sick, right? I know. Crazy gross.

A Hurricane? Seriously?

Hurricane Irene is coming. It is supposed to be here tomorrow evening into Sunday. A Hurricane. I thought that was a Florida/Texas thing. Turns out, they happen here, too.

An earthquake? I can handle it. A hurricane? How does that even look? Do people die in these? The trees could fall down and hurt someone I am told. There’s a significant chance we could lose power, so we have stocked up on water. We have batteries, flashlights and candles. I am a little worried about the amount of canned foods we have. This is another time I am SUPER glad I nurse. I don’t have to worry about feeding the baby or clean water to make formula.

I am also worried about the subway being shutdown tomorrow. You can ALWAYS ride the subway here. You may have to wait at 2am on a Sunday morning, but a train is coming. Places downtown are under mandatory evacuation. I am going back and forth between thinking this is a big deal and thinking people are blowing it out of proportion. I am going to pack a go bag, just in case. This is my second big deal thing this week. what an eventful summer.

And did I mention? I also went to Central Park and fed an alpaca today. So, I am doing big things this this week.

Earthquake

An earthquake in NYC? Yes, and I was there.

East Coast earthquake? Do they have those here? Seems like.

I was in the kitchen making a sandwich. We just returned from California this morning. Husband was on the couch. I feel the kitchen swaying and shaking. I look around and wonder if I’m just dizzy. I look out to the couch and he looks FREAKED OUT. “Do you feel that?!”

I grab the baby and pull Husband to stand with me in the doorway. I’ve ben through many earthquakes. You wait it out. You stand in the doorway. (Or crouch under your desk if you’re in school.) I thought I was overreacting. New York doesn’t get earthquakes. Maybe some issue in the building? But Husband and I just sttod there and felt the earth move. Then we heard people outside shouting about it. We turned on the news, and there was nothing confirming the earthquake. Nothing. Thanks, news.

I went to twitter. Boom. It was an earthquake. We were not crazy or hallucinating. JFK Airport is closed. So is Newark Airport. I called my family in California…they are not very impressed. I am very thankful we were not traveling or asleep. Husband told me he thought he was having a heart attack or something. One of his main arguments against moving to California was a fear of earthquakes. This kinda takes care of that argument, huh?

 

Earthquake 2011.

Stranger Danger

I love living in Harlem. It feels very neighborhoody. You know the guys in your corner bodega. They play peek-a-boo with the baby. We have a fantastic fruit guy with yummy bananas and lychees. We do a lot of neighborhood walking, the baby and I, so we see some of the same people many times.

On Friday, we saw this older dude near the fruit stand. Nice Interesting dude. Last week I saw him tell a little girl that if she didn’t mind her mother, that the dog on the street would “get her!” Gross. I don’t want my kid afraid of dogs. I don’t want my kid to listen to me out of fear. But, she wasn’t my kid and the mom seemed okay with the story, so I just minded my business.

On Friday, he sees us and says hello. Scooba is very friendly. He smiles at folks, laughs, waves his hands and jabbers emphatically at people. The people love him. This guy said hello and I replied. Then dude asks me if Scooba was my son.

“Yep.”

“Really?” (No, I’m lying to a stranger, but since you said ‘really’ I’m gonna come clean.)

“Yep.”

“How’d he get so bright?!!”

Really, stranger? How did my son get so bright??! My son isn’t ‘so bright’. Sure, he’s light-skinned, but, “so bright,” no. And where do you get off being so nosy. You don’t know my name, but you want to know about my son’s  genetic heritage?

“Black people come in all kinds of colors.”

“Well, now, that’s true.”

So. What do I do with this? I’m not going to lie. it really bothered me. It’s not that I don’t want people to know that Husband is white. It’s not that I am ashamed that my son is biracial. So why did his comments bother me so much? I talked to husband and he pointed out two things. One, it is extremely rude to be forward with a stranger. Two, I don’t like strangers all up in my business. We were once harassed on the street for being together and I got very upset about it. Husband just took it in stride. He felt like strangers’ opinions didn’t matter.

I get that people are curious. If you’re my friend, and you ask about my son, I’ll tell you and be fine with it. But for a stranger to ask why my son is ‘so bright’ is a judgment and he isn’t seeing my son for the whole person he is. He is more than a shade of brown. And you know what? There isn’t anything wrong with being “bright.” Dude said it with the same tone as asking, “How’d he get so ugly?”

It’s rude to ask strangers personal questions. Don’t act like my kid’s color is the only interesting thing about him. He’s smart. He’s tall. He’s a marvelous climber. I feel like I should have one of those “Ask me about…” stickers for him. Maybe the lesson for me is to worry less about what some dude on the corner has to say. He is a jerk, but it’s up to me to decide how it’s going to affect me. Boom. Got a little Dr. Phil on myself there. Nice.

Bottom Line: Don’t be a weird old guy asking rude questions of strangers on the street. It’s not a good look.

BlogHer 2012 is in NYC!

Blog Her 2012 is in  New York City

I’m doing it. I’m going.

BlogHer 2011 was in San Diego. I am from San Diego and we go visit in August anyway, so this year should have been a done deal. Unfortunately, Husband’s schedule meant we were in Cali the following weekend. Lame. This was a real kick in the pants for me. But the heavens have smiled down upon me.

Next year, BlogHer is in NYC! YES! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. I am totally going. I got so tired of hearing about BlogHer knowing I couldn’t go. (“Not that I wanted to go anyway, who cares,” is how I consoled  myself.)

But it’s in my city this year! The Hilton! And I can afford the rates! So excited. I have put it on my calendar and told Husband. You should go to BlogHer. And you.

NYC is a fantastic city. We have Central Park, amazing restaurants, the subway and lots of good junk. Street fairs! Encounters with strangers! Pizza at 3am! And we’re one of the news media and publishing hubs of the world. What’s not to love?

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